During gym today, I was laying down on the floor because I was bored. I'm lying down next to Jesse. All of a sudden, one of the gym teachers yell saying that we should head for the school field. I look up and I see Jesse running full speed at Jennifer. I'm like "Okay... wait for me." Nope. They both walked out and towards the field... WITHOUT ME!!! I was left behind! I try catching up but they never bothered waiting for me. By the time they got to the field, they were waiting. I was like "FUCK THIS SHIT. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE." I walked around the field alone by myself. I should confront them, but it's pointless. It's not gonna benefit me. It's gonna make me feel much more like shit.

Best friends do not do that to other best friends. What happened to respect? I get shit.

I completed most of the Cisco labs and everyone else has to catch up. For now, I have to work on the homework assignments.

What does this imply?

1. I like to finish my work quickly.
2. I hate this work and bullshit most/all of my answers.
3. The labs were my amusement for a certain amount of time.
4. I'm fixing my problem of procrasination.
5. I have no clue.

You choose.

First off, I have not updated this thingamabob in about 4 weeks... shame on me...

Second, I need to state that prom is on May 21st. That's in less than 3 weeks. I'm a little worried. My boyfriend have yet to buy his ticket. That idiot... I bought mine already. I still don't know how I'm getting there... I'm not driving... HELL NO. Prom ends when my driving time ends. I am not driving at night. I'm not driving in a dress. RAWR.

It's rainy. It was rainy since Friday afternoon. Cloudy. Gloomy. Sadness. Boredom.

Tomorrow is Intergenerational Day. My class is doing Othello for the old people. We did it at Teen Arts and people loved it. Now, we have to make it even better without editing it too much. Anyway, the teacher said that we're doing this for ourselves because of what's going on. It's being recorded. There maybe scholarship scouts or people who may tell their children about what they saw and stuff. I think the class can do it.

Speaking of scholarship, I have to find my guidance councelor for a form for a scholarship. I'm hoping I can get it. Hoping... Hoping...

I want it to be Autumn all year long. I love the warm-to-cold weather. I was born in the Autumn, too, specifically November. I love how the leaves turn from green to orange to brown. I love how the weather gets cooler and comfortable. I get to wear capris and flip-flops and t-shirts. I do that in the Spring also but I like Autumn better. The only downside is that I have to rake leaves. :(

People around me don't really care about that holiday. To them, it's just a regular day. If you wear green, then okay. If not, okay. I wore green and ended up getting a homework pass for my World Lit class. That's it.

Today is the 'Dress for Success' thingy. I dressed up, but every month, I regret wearing the boots. They're my "dressy" boots that have two inch heels. It's not bad, but they're higher than what I usually wear, which are actually one inch. I sometimes waddle to class like a duck.

I'm gonna hand in my final draft of my research paper before 8th period. I want that 10 extra points! RAWR! I made some changes from the rough draft. I originally got a 86. After making the necessary changes, I'm gonna hand it in before her 8th period class. It's so hard editing it. I was hard thinking and typing it up. It's even harder to edit it. Damn. Hopefully, I get a good grade after this.

YAY! I'm in the top 20 of my class. YAY! WHOO! Success. Anyway... I'm tired... and hungry... It's Friday the 13th again! Nothing bad happened to me... yet. So... I'm hungry. I feel like running out of school to my car, drive to Wendy's and buy food. I'd go for some Wendy's at the moment.

Sorry. I was diligently working on my research paper. It's not due until tomorrow, but I wanted it done completely! Which it is. 8 full pages and a works cited page. Good. Nice. Awesome. Tired. Kind of sleepy. Daylight Saving killed almost everyone I know. I'm so tired because of that loss of one hour. Yeah, it was last Sunday. Still. Sleep is precious. The small things you lose may be the precious things... like sleep! I want my damn hour back!!! RAWR!

Earlier, during lunch, I was in my car with my boyfriend. We do that every lunch. All we do is talk. It's a good moment for me. I let out some stress with the guy I love. Today was otherwise. I told people what my car looks like Doug, a friend of mine, tried to throw snowballs at it. He carried Kirsten to my car. She nearly broke a window. We were being bothered. As much as they are my friends, there are some times where you need time for yourself or for someone else. I use that time for him and myself. I don't hate those two, I just want to hang out with him. That's all.

I realize why teachers or adults always tell you to speak up. I realize that so well. I also realize that I should never jump to conclusions. Why? Well, my friend Kirsten and I have troubles at the moment. I never knew she was in a troubled thought until someone told me. I never really thought about it.

Earlier, she was looking for me. I was moving my car. Once I got back, my boyfriend and her were gone. I'm like "WTF?" I go into the auditorium and asked his sister. Not there. So, I leave and I see them looking the other way. I got annoyed that I wasted energy looking for them. I ask what does she want. She just wants to hang out with me. I don't mind that, but there's always a reason for doing so. So, the three of us talk. I ended up saying my problem... someone stole my money again. I'm annoyed about this because I feel like a target. She said that I'm not a target and stuff and people like me. I say they don't and run off to my car. My boyfriend comes by and talked to me that she has a problem too. How am I suppose to know? I must have jumped to conclusions. I apologized later on as he left to go to Vo-Tech. She told me that she's still going through an upsetting moment that occurred 4 months ago. She couldn't let go the fact that she has been dumped. It's hard for her.

I know that problem. Yeah, he and I made up about a week later, but there are some things time can and cannot heal. Break-ups... ha, need so much time, yet for her, 4 months gone by and she's still not over the fact. Memories haunt her time to time. I know the feeling. I have regrets. I have memories that haunt me. Time can't heal all. I don't know the solution to everything, but sometimes, times isn't the best medicine. What did I tell her? Think about something else. Concentrate on other important things. That's what I did.

Now... where the fuck did I put my chapstick? Crap. I think it fell out of my pocket when I was sulking in my car... Crap...

A friend of mine sell girl scout cookies, and I got my order... well, my order and my mom's order... in one. My mom will be happy. I'm already working on one box. *nom nom nom*

Yesterday, I got back together with my boyfriend. He told me that he had personal problems and that he doesn't want me involved. I understand that. If he wants personal space, he can have it. I just wish he didn't do what he did in order to get that. Yeah... not really necessary. No wonder he wanted to shovel the snow in my driveway. Luckily, he told me when Mom went grocery shopping. =3 Earlier, I heard from his friend that he heard the news and that I must be a special girl (but not THAT kind of special). I am. ^_^ I was hoping that day will come.

Speaking of yesterday, there was no school. YAY. Why? Snow day. Sweet.

My days are what I call "back to normal".

The story behind my username is pretty simple. I am Asian, specifically Vietnamese and Laotian. I also like candy and any form of sugar. In a sense, I get high off of it. So, one day, I fused them together and made up "the Sugar High Asian".

Well... I'm still broken about it. I'm still crying about it. I still can't help being upset. It's hard not to think about it. I know the world can't be how I want it to be, but... I didn't want it to be like right now. Messed up. Misaligned. Crooked. People told me stuff. I try using their words, but it's hard.

time can heal most wounds just try and do other things ~ Jaime
Well... I've been told that many times. I need lots of time. I try to do other things but it's hard when you keep thinking about it.

I now continue to be a work in progress.

I have bad news for myself.

My boyfriend broke up with me. I can't help but cry. I'm sensitive. Not to mention it was early in the morning, in front of my locker. Why couldn't it be in front of the school? Anyway, it took me a while to calm down. I wrote a poem about it. It was very emotional, according to one student.

Basically, all of my girlfriends cheered me up. Even people I don't know tried their best to cheer me up. Well... Thanks, but the wound in my heart won't be able to heal. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces. It's gonna be hard to put it back together.

My days are back to what it was before we started dating. I vaguely remember those days... And we've been dating for 5 1/2 months. Guess it wasn't all bad... though I wish those happy memories of him were smashed... When we got together... our dates together... the Birthday Ball... Valentines Day... T_T

There are some ideas that help me and there are some ideas that hurt me.

What I'm thinking of... the ideas will hurt me. Wht do I think like this?

Earlier, during lunch, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. My friend Kirsten comes along. I thought he and I can have time together. Nope. Boy, was I fuckin' wrong. She acted like a total third wheel. I know she's my friend, but there are some things that people shouldn't butt into... and this is one of them. I love my friend, but COME ON! I have a boyfriend! Anyway, we were all hanging out. He and my friend were having fun together. I was left out of all of this. So, I ran off.

Around 12pm, I went to find him and confront him. I told him that he upset me and if we ever have "normal lunch" again like that, I might as well [use my bad ideas on me and him]. He said he won't do it again, but he doesn't look like he meant it. I started to cry. He still doesn't look like he meant. I'm mentally unstable. I can't help it. If he starts becoming reckless in my eyes, who knows what'll happen to me. It's never a good idea to ignore me. I'm not seeking attention. I just want to be involved. If I don't be involved, I feel left out... You get the point.

I'm not doing well everywhere. My family are driving me nuts. School is laying so much pressure on me. I can't balance everything I do. It's impossible for me. It's not good for me to be in the situation I am in now. Sorry.

I know he's not gonna read this, but... IF YOU EVER PISS ME OFF AGAIN, YOU'RE GONNA SEE MORE THAN BLACK AND BLUE. YOU'RE GONNA SEE STARS, WOOD, RED, EVERYTHING.

I went on a trip to the State Theatre and saw a great performance. Had so many drumming... Really wished there were guitars involved. Had fun with my friends, though I hung out with guys most of the time. My boyfriend had coffee> I never knew that him having coffee might be a bad thing... well, I already knew, but the sight of it made it slightly bad... Maybe it was because he had 1 1/2 cups... then again, he added 14 packs to the coffee (total). It was insane. He did crazy things on the bus. He bothered people. He annoyed people. Almost the whole nine yards. I didn't mind though. I had candy and sugar on the trip. So, we were both hyper together.


Drumline Live - Pre-Show Stage by ~PikachuFanatica on deviantART

I have a stuffy nose. It's annoying! I was fine earlier yesterday. Now, I feel like crap. Bleh. I hope I don't do anything stupid in school that involves sickness.

i'm reading a book on emo culture. hahahaha. it's the one by the two AP editors: Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture. i actually wanted it after reading a small part in the June issue. another reason: the June issue had The Academy Is... on the cover XD . i haven't read much. before this one, i read a different one: Nothing Feels Good: Teenagers, Punk Rock, and Emo. that book was eh. i like Everybody Hurts more. it's recent and i LOVE AP magazine.

yesterday, i went with my mom to the hospital to do a check-up, since she is pregnant. the whole damn this took long: 2 hours and 40 minutes. i am very impatient. it turns out from the looks of the baby (no scientific shit), it's a boy. yup. just from the looks.

in June 1st, when i went to Dorney Park with my class, me Jen were having random conversations. Jen had a weird dream about my mom. in her dream, my mom gave birth to a boy.

dude, it's a boy now. i plan to chase her once i see her.

i wake up at 9:30am, but i stayed in bed because i'm a lazy bum and i wanna finish my weird dream (note: no more Transformers movie commercials!!!). i reawaken at 10:15am. i get my clothes. as i was about to turn on the computer, everything shuts down. i thought i broke the house or something. i panic a little. i run around the house to see what got cut off also. ALL of the appliances were off. about 5 minutes later, the police and firefighters came and inspect the wires. they pretty much did nothing except move wires off the street. i call mom and told her. she called the electric company. i get bored and listen to music. mom calls back saying they're coming. i call dad at noon. he gets SUPER loud on my ear and calls the electric company also. around 1:30pm, the cable guy came. no one called them, but thank God they came. he fixed it on the house, but not on the telephone pole. we need the electric people. then they came. they fix the electric. the cable. seems that the phone was fine. mom comes home. end.

dad loves to yell at me in phone calls. LOVES. everytime he calls me, he yells at my fuckin ear. i'm young. i don't want to be deaf. this moment was very stressful. from 10:20am to 3:45pm, i had nothing to do but read one of my olf fanfics and listen to music. i didn't even have a decent meal. for breakfast, i had a smuckers uncrustables. for lunch, i had a smuckers uncrustables. for snack, i had a banana. i was afraid to drink the milk. i would have been oon the computer for some time if the batteries weren't bitchy. STRESSFUL!

i'm gonna kick that truck driver's ass one day.