There are some ideas that help me and there are some ideas that hurt me.

What I'm thinking of... the ideas will hurt me. Wht do I think like this?

Earlier, during lunch, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. My friend Kirsten comes along. I thought he and I can have time together. Nope. Boy, was I fuckin' wrong. She acted like a total third wheel. I know she's my friend, but there are some things that people shouldn't butt into... and this is one of them. I love my friend, but COME ON! I have a boyfriend! Anyway, we were all hanging out. He and my friend were having fun together. I was left out of all of this. So, I ran off.

Around 12pm, I went to find him and confront him. I told him that he upset me and if we ever have "normal lunch" again like that, I might as well [use my bad ideas on me and him]. He said he won't do it again, but he doesn't look like he meant it. I started to cry. He still doesn't look like he meant. I'm mentally unstable. I can't help it. If he starts becoming reckless in my eyes, who knows what'll happen to me. It's never a good idea to ignore me. I'm not seeking attention. I just want to be involved. If I don't be involved, I feel left out... You get the point.

I'm not doing well everywhere. My family are driving me nuts. School is laying so much pressure on me. I can't balance everything I do. It's impossible for me. It's not good for me to be in the situation I am in now. Sorry.

I know he's not gonna read this, but... IF YOU EVER PISS ME OFF AGAIN, YOU'RE GONNA SEE MORE THAN BLACK AND BLUE. YOU'RE GONNA SEE STARS, WOOD, RED, EVERYTHING.